In Part 1 of the Travelin’ Weenie series, I introduced you to the preparations this family goes through before setting out on a vacation. (And by “this family,” I mean me.) In the next chapter of the series, we dig deeper into the delicate art of neurotic air travel…
I bring two bags on every trip. The bag with all my clothing, makeup, toiletries, rain gear, shoes, etc. is checked through, and I carry the other one onboard with me. Despite being weighed at home on the bathroom scale, my checked bag was a few pounds over the 50-pound limit. Thus was I forced to endure the withering stares of the holier-than-thou light-packer set as I moved two sweatshirts and a toiletry kit the size of a small raft into Mr. Weenie’s bag. (This is why I never pack undies or Tampax on top.)
While Mr. Weenie’s carryon bag consisted of a toy poodle and iPod, mine contained enough supplies to set up a small base camp at the foothills of Everest. You may think I’m kidding, but I do not joke about carryon luggage. Here’s what I bring with me on the plane when I travel:
Blow-up neck pillow, Pashmina shawl, sweater, ear plugs, eye mask, fuzzy socks, Advil, Aleve, migraine medication, anti-nausea medication, Dramamine, Xanax, extra Xanax, snacks (may include, but not limited to: nuts, gum, raisins, protein bars, apples, string cheese, pretzels, sandwich, candy and chips), hand sanitizer, Wet Wipes, camera, video camera, external microphone, batteries, Kindle, iPad, iPhone, iPod, actual books (in case all of my electronics fail simultaneously), printed articles from the web (in case my books are confiscated), People magazine (in case there’s a Brangelina emergency), earbuds, chargers, extension cord, paper, pens, pencils, highlighters, extra lead and erasers, tea bags, Post-it notes, sketch pad, maps, lip balm, two rubber bands (in case the first one breaks), paper clips, hair clip, purse, wallet, extra glasses, Emergen-C, Kleenex and Ziplock bags. I also carry on bottled water and a decaf triple espresso procured before boarding.
The contents of this hospital/convenience store/hotel on wheels is the the same whether my flight lasts half a day or half an hour. Welcome to my world.
Stay tuned for Part 3 in the Travelin’ Weenie series: “Weenie in Her Full, Upright and Locked Position”
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m tired and I didn’t even go on the trip. :)
And yeah, I’m one of those travel light type guys. I don’t think I’ve checked a bag in years. Don’t want my stuff sent to Afghanistan or wherever.
Oh dear, you would be *horrified* if you saw me. It’s truly ridiculous. Mr. Weenie deserves a medal.
I’m all about traveling light too. I took 4 months off and traveled around the world with only a carry-on. That was in 1999, so of course before all the stupid TSA rules and regs, and before my need to carry a stupid amount of electronics. But your packing list – holy crap! Good thing I didn’t drive you to the airport. You’d have had to endure my withering “are you fucking crazy?” stare :)
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Mock me all you want. If I ever get stuck on the tarmac for over 24 hours, I’ll be in pretty good shape. Because–you know–stuff like that happens a lot. Also, we left the house at 4:30am. NObody’s that good a friend!
I love you, sweetie, but you crazy! I only hope if I ever get stranded during the rapture, its with you!
Dudette – You have known me for over 38 years. Please tell me you aren’t surprised. SO sorry I missed you this trip!! When are you coming back?
OMG I knew I loved you for a reason! You’re the only person I know who packs like I do, though I think you win. :) So awesome.
I’m not sure you should admit that.
Well it’s not like I can “hide” it. :)
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“….forced to endure the withering stares of the holier-than-thou light-packer set…”
Ha! Lovin’ your adventures. I’m part of the light-packer set, but I try not to deliver withering stares at check-in or the TSA line. I figure it’s all good…. (and I’m sure you were pretty entertaining during the whole process). :)
Let’s just say I’m less than entertaining to my husband. Thanks for reading!
The last time I flew (Vegas last November) I had to pay the overweight bag fee since my checked bag weighed 58 pounds. Plus, I carried on my ridiculously huge purse and laptop bag. What can I say- I like to be prepared! I am loving your travel adventures!!
A girl after my own heart! :) There are two kinds of people in this world: Prepared and unprepared. Sewing kit, anyone?